


alistair theirin's birthday bananza

by myheadisapumpkin



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, alistair theirin's birthday bananza, anyway over to u arahiel, can someone tell me what a bananza actually is, he didn't want a big party until he realised how much cheese he was going to get, its a fucking CHEESE bananza more than anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 09:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16134218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myheadisapumpkin/pseuds/myheadisapumpkin
Summary: It wasn’t just any old event he’d been invited to.Arahiel unfolds the envelope once more, still in disbelief at it’s contents.“You are cordially invited to King Alistair Theirin’s birthday party. No plus ones.”





	alistair theirin's birthday bananza

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittleAprilFlowers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleAprilFlowers/gifts).



> this is a just a lil thing i wrote for my bud @LittleAprilFlowers for their bday!!! which was months ago, but i forgot about this and now its here again.
> 
> toit

It wasn’t just  _ any _ old event he’d been invited to.

Arahiel unfolds the envelope once more, still in disbelief at it’s contents. 

“ _You are cordially invited to King Alistair Theirin’s birthday party. No plus ones._ ” For such a short letter, Arahiel would have thought it was fake, given to him to lure him into a trap. But the royal seal on the other side simply proves it’s authenticity, so Arahiel let’s it slide.

As he returns to Skyhold, he stops passed Leliana’s room. “Leliana, you wouldn’t believe who-“

“Alistair’s birthday party, yes?”

“…Yes, how did you-?”

“I read all your mail, Inquisitor. Not to mention, I got an invitation myself.”

“Oh, that’s a relief. I met him very briefly before, I didn’t expect a birthday invitation out of it. At least we can go together.”

“Yes, I’m quite excited actually. I wonder who else he’s invited! I should find something to wear.”

“You know, there isn’t a date on here. When is it supposed to be?” 

“They’ll send couriers to pick us up. In the meantime, we just have to get ready and wait.”

“So it’s  _ today?”  _

“Don’t be preposterous, Inquisitor! It’s in a week. They’ll be here tomorrow morning to collect us. _ ” _

_ “ _ How can you possibly tell…?” Arahiel murmurs, looking over his letter top to bottom. “This doesn’t give me a lot of time to get him a gift, you know. What would a  _ King _ even want? Hasn’t he got everything?”

“Cheese,” Leliana states, before turning back to her wardrobe, flicking through clothes at an alarming rate. 

“Cheese?”

“Cheese! Alistair loves cheese. Went on about it all the time when we were travelling with… Each other.”

“What kind of cheese?”

“Any cheese. He’ll eat it all. I’m going to get him a lovely Orlesian cheese, open up his world a little bit.” 

“I… have an idea.”

 

* * *

 

“Do you think he’ll like my gift?” Arahiel asks, watching some servants (notably humans instead of elves) take his and Leliana’s presents away.

“I’m certain of it. It was a great idea,” Leliana answers, eyes focusing as they step into the Royal Palace’s main hall. 

Arahiel looks around as they are both announced, more and more faces turning his way. He doesn’t recognise many, not at first glance. As they move further into the room, he can see an empty throne at the end of the room, and a considerably huge pile of presents at either side. He follows after Leliana, who wastes no time in greeting people and introducing him to them, giving him only a few seconds to say “hello” before moving onto the next person. He finally sees a familiar face, standing at the edge of the hall alone, drink in hand with a disinterested glare. He wanders over to her, figuring he could at least start here.

“Morrigan,” He greets, “I didn’t expect to see you here.” 

“I didn’t expect to be here,” Morrigan replies, “I’m not exactly on Alistair Theirin’s Best Friend list.” 

“Neither am I, I’ve only met him once before briefly. I was surprised to be invited.”

“You are The Inquisitor are you not? That is reason enough for invite.”

“I suppose so. I don’t know many people here,” Arahiel says, still looking around for someone else he knows. His eyes connect with Leliana, who scowls at his choice in guest to speak with, before she goes back to her conversation.

Morrigan watches the interaction, and Arahiel swears he can see a small smirk on her face. “You are lucky. I would be grateful to know so little guests,” she sighs, as Leliana begins making her way over to them. 

“Morrigan,” Leliana greets flatly, unimpressed at her appearance. “I didn’t expect you to be invited.”

She snorts. “Neither did I,” Morrigan says once more, wondering how many times she will have to say that tonight. 

“I wouldn’t have thought Alistair of all people would want to see you,” Leliana responds.

“People grow, people change. Perhaps we will be the best of friends yet.” After a pause, Morrigan continues, “I surely hope not.”

“Morrigan,” A gruff voice comes from behind them, and Arahiel turns to find a ginger dwarven warden. “I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Maker above,” Morrigan groans, “Why are you here?”

“Oghren!” Leliana greets, “My, it’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”

“Even Leliana’s here? Damn, this really is a party. I need more ale,” He says. A servant walking around refills his chalice a second later, leaving the dwarf looking absolutely thrilled.

“Introductions?” Arahiel says, looking between the two women and the dwarf.

“Of course. Inquisitor, this is Oghren, a grey warden we travelled with back in the day. Well, he wasn’t a grey warden then,” Leliana says.

“Guess who recruited me,” Oghren grumbles. 

“The Hero of Ferelden?” Arahiel asks.

“Pah! ‘Hero’ of Ferelden; we just called her -”

“My dear Morrigan, I surely did not expect you to be here,” a sensual voice arrives, and Arahiel wonders if he can escape all these reunions, as Morrigan’s scowl is getting deeper by the second. He spots someone waving at him, and attempts to head their way, but is stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. He turns back to see a handsome tan elf grinning at him. “You must be the famous Inquisitor. It is a pleasure to see you,” he says, eyes scanning Arahiel up and down.

“Zevran!” Leliana squeals, giving him a hug. “Finally, someone I’m actually pleased to see!”

“Ahhh, Leliana, you are just like wine. You get better with age,” Zevran says, pushing a lock of hair back from her face. 

“Um,” Arahiel tries to interject, realising he recognises that name. Surely it had been on some mission statements before? “Have we met-”

“Zevran, quit running off without me. I can’t see shit in this helmet,” A woman follows behind him, with a huge helmet covering her face. She has her arms slightly outstretched, unsure of her surroundings. 

“Sorry my darling, I was simply excited to reunite with old friends,” he says. “Oghren! It has been too long!” 

“Heh, speak for yourself,” Oghren replies, chugging his ale.

“Who is this?” Arahiel speaks up, finally getting a word in. Honestly, it’s been a while since he felt so invisible in a conversation. 

“Ah, Inquisitor, it is my honour to introduce you to…” Zevran says, walking over to the woman and gently lifting the helmet off. Underneath the helmet is an elf, with short ginger hair and braids. She has face tattoos, but they aren’t like any vallaslin he’s ever seen. There’s various scars scattered across her face and neck, disappearing under the rest of her clothes. “The ‘Hero of Ferelden’. Also known as Kallian Tabris.”

“The Hero? It’s really you?” Arahiel asks. He holds out his hand. “It’s wonderful to meet you. I’ve heard many stories about you from… Well, so many people. Especially Leliana here.”

“It’s a pleasure. I’ve heard a lot about you too, Inquisitor. You have done many wonderful things. Remember that you have a life other than The Inquisitor. It will slip by without you noticing if you don’t.” She smiles. Arahiel notices her hand slip into Zevran’s. Morrigan pointedly looks away.

At Morrigan’s sudden movement, Kallian turns her attention, mouth slacking open.

“Morrigan,” She says. Her hand slips out of Zevran’s. “I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“I’ve gotten a lot of that this evening,” Morrigan replies. “Warden. It’s good to see you.”

“Warden-commander now,” Kallian says, with a small smirk. “You could always call me by my name.”

Morrigan looks away from her once more. “I could. I choose not to.”

Kallian’s smirk drops, and she looks as if she’s about to say something else, before a gong is banged.

The group of them turn their attention to the entrance, waiting. “Is Sten not coming?” Kallian whispers. 

“I haven’t seen him,” Leliana replies.

“The King of Ferelden, King Alistair!” Someone announces, as the doors open. Alistair strolls in, looking regal. There’s a hint of embarrassment in his expression, like he can’t believe he has to behave this way in front of all these people he knows, but strides forward to the end of the room where the throne resides. 

“Welcome everyone!” Alistair starts. “I’m glad that you could all make it. There are faces in here I may have met briefly, faces I’ve known for decades,” he scans the room as he talks. “Faces I’ve loved, faces I’ve hated,” The group look towards Morrigan, who rolls her eyes. “But most importantly, people I’ve come to respect. No matter who you are, if you are here, I respect you.”

“Someone must have invited Morrigan by mistake,” Oghren states. Morrigan whacks him on the back of the head.

“Therefore, I thank you for coming. I can’t wait to catch up with all of you. Cheers,” He says, raising a glass. Everyone raises one with him. “Now, let’s-”

A loud bang comes from the entrance, as the door is forced open once more. The crowds look back in wonder. The door slithers open a crack, then a lot more. “Sorry! Sorry I’m late!”

“Finally, a face I recognise,” Arahiel sighs in relief.

“Traffic was hell. You know how it is. Wow, sure is quiet in here for a party,” Hawke rambles, stepping into the room with a large box with air holes in hand. 

The announcer blinks a few times before, looking down his list. “Er, Champion of Kirkwall, Garrett Hawke!” 

“Cheers,” Hawke says in his direction, before walking straight up the hall Alistair had just walked and handing him his present. “Here you go. From one Ferelden to another.”

“Champion, the gifts will be opened later-” Alistair’s advisor says, but he waves him off.

“It’s in my hands already, I may as well. Not to mention the air holes intrigue me,” he unwraps it, opening the box. “Oh Hawke! This is -”

He reaches into the box, lifting out a small mabari pup. “What an adorable little thing! This is the best gift ever. I’m going to name him Barnabus,” Alistair says, smushing his face into the pup, who happily licks his face.

“Barnabus?” Hawke raises an eyebrow. “Alright. Your puppy, I guess.” 

Leliana groans. “I am such a fool. How could I have forgotten mabaris are his favourite? Cheese will pale in comparison to  _ that. _ ”

“Well, shit.” Arahiel says, “So my gift is obsolete too?”

“I’m sure he’ll like your gifts just as much,” Kallian says. “He  _ really  _ loves cheese.” 

“What did you get him?” Leliana asks.

Kallian mumbles an answer. 

“What was that?”

“I got him cheese, alright,” Kallian sighs. “It’s a special kind of cheese! I found it in the Anderfels. It’s a speciality, nothing else like it.”

“I got him some Orzammar cheese. That stuff is stronger than a dragon fart,” Oghren says.

“I didn’t get him anything, so I’m winning.” Morrigan interjects.

“With all that cheese, I bet his throne must be stinking up there,” Arahiel says. A look at Alistair shows he’s much too interested in his new puppy to notice any smell, or any other person. 

“Hey, Inquisitor!” A familiar voice yells and Arahiel turns to see Hawke jogging over. “Thought I’d see you here. Been a while, huh?”

“Sure has. Last time I saw you was... “ The two look at each other, remembering the unpleasantness. Falling into the physical fade, fighting The Nightmare, and leaving Stroud behind. Arahiel tried not to think about it too much. 

“A bad dream.” Hawke gives a wry smile. “Who else have we got here then? Zevran!” 

“Champion, your beard is just as beautiful as I last saw you. No elf at your side this time, I see?” 

“Fenris wasn’t invited. Not that he would have come anyway, he’s on a mission of his own.”

“Oh yes, what is it?” 

“Parenthood,” Hawke grins. 

“What?!” Zevran and Arahiel yell. 

Hawke bellows out a laugh, wiping his eyes at their expressions. “What’s so shocking about that?”

“He is rather… Spiky, to be a parent, no?”

“The spikes are removable, Zevran. He’s actually a wonderful parent. We sort of adopted this orphan elf we met while travelling. He’s only six. Fenris is very attached to him.”

“Congratulations, Champion. If you ever get bored of family life, you know where to find me,” Zevran smiles. Kallian coughs, elbowing him. “I mean, have you met my partner? This is Kallian Tabris, also known as the Hero of Ferelden.”

“Nice to meet you Hero of Ferelden, I’m the Champion of Kirkwall. Always fun to meet someone else who has an equally ridiculous title.”

“Likewise. It’s a shame Fenris wasn’t invited, I was rather hoping to meet him. I read your book, Zevran insisted. Sounds like you’ve had a time of it.”

“I certainly have. The Inquisitor too, I’m guessing,” Hawke says. “What am I saying,  _ guessing.  _ I know he’s had a time of it. You know, we  _ fell _ into the physical fade -”

“Huh, interesting. I went into the fade a few times. Turned into a mouse.”

“That… That wins. I can’t even deny it, that  _ wins. _ ” Hawke says. “Admit defeat, Inquisitor. She was a  _ mouse. _ ”

“And a Golem,” she adds.

“And a  _ Golem,”  _ Hawke clutches his chest. “I  _ wish  _ that had been my fade experience. Instead all my friends turned against me for demons. Wasn’t fun.”

“I mean, it wasn’t exactly fun for me either. Lots of mages died in the process.”

Arahiel slides out of the conversation, wandering around the hall a bit more. Alistair is still playing with his puppy, but now investigating some gifts. Arahiel wanders up to the King, figuring he may as well get his present done first, so it doesn’t look bad next to the others.

“King Alistair?”

“Yeeeeeeees?” Alistair replies, looking up from a pile of gifts his puppy was running around.

“I wondered if you might want some help choosing a gift to open. May I recommend mine?”

“Sounds like a grand idea. I wasn’t getting very far with ‘eenie meenie miney mo.’”

Arahiel tugs his gift out from the pile, putting it at Alistair’s feet. He leans down, opening it up.

“It’s called the ‘Wedge of Destiny.” Arahiel explains.

Alistair laughs, pulling the shield out of the box. “It’s a cheese shield! I can eat in battle! Brilliant,” he grins. “Thank you, Inquisitor. This birthday’s going quite well gift-wise.”

“I’m glad you think so. I’ve met many of your friends you travelled with during the Blight.”

“Oh maker, of course. I should probably start talking to people. I’ll start with them. Who’s here?”

“Er… Leliana, Zevran, Morrigan, Oghren, Kallian-”

“Kallian’s here?  _ Really? _ ” 

“Funny, I was expecting that reaction about Morrigan.”

“Well, that is a surprise in itself. But Kallian… I don’t know, she hasn’t made a public appearance in a decade. I figured she’d be tucked away in the mountains somewhere. Is Sten here?”

“I don’t… I don’t know who that is, but I don’t think so.”

“Shame. Ah well, I better go see them! Hold onto Barnabus for a moment, will you?” He walks past Arahiel, plopping the small pup in his hands.  _ This is a much better alternative than talking to people, _ Arahiel thinks, rubbing the pup’s belly.

He watches as Alistair reunites with the group he had been talking to. He tightly embraces Kallian, looking ready to all but swing her around the room. He smiles in a way Arahiel has never seen before; a young smile, full of wonder and adoration, all for this one woman. He hugs Zevran next, clapping him on the back. Arahiel wonders what Zevran says that causes the small blush to appear on his cheeks. Next is Leliana, a friendly hug with a peck on each cheek. A quick hug with Oghren. Finally, he comes to Morrigan. Arahiel can’t quite hear them from this distance, but Morrigan’s frown fades as he begins talking, nodding as she replies. They do not hug, but eventually the talk results in a handshake, the others looking completely flabbergasted. 

Hawke comes up beside him, stroking the puppy on the head. “What a cute little blighter,” Hawke says, “Almost kept him for myself.” 

“Wouldn’t blame you. It’s going to be hard giving him back,” Arahiel jokes. “He’s my best way at avoiding conversation with everyone else.”

“That’s what mabari’s are for!” Hawke smooches the puppy’s head. Barnabus gives a soft bork. Hawke squeals.

The doors open once more, and the two of them look up. The guests look up. Alistair and his old hang look up. 

“The Arishok!” The announcer yells, with a slight shake in his voice.

A huge hornless Qunari steps into the room, huge and intimidating. “Fucking hell, he’s a biggun,” Hawke mutters, slightly hiding behind Arahiel. Arahiel raises an eyebrow at Hawke’s cowardice. “Listen, I have a history with Arishoks. I’m not fighting another one.”

Alistair steps out to meet him. “Sten! I can’t believe you came!” 

“Basalit-an,” Arishok Sten greets him. He looks at the other companions from his past. “Morrigan, I didn’t expect you to be here.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: bleakzeke.tumblr.com  
> twitter: @bleakzeke  
> insta: @bitterobatter


End file.
